The Woman Before Me
by annieb
Summary: Who burned him and why? GS


**_The Woman Before Me_**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it**

**Spoiler: none**

**Feedback: Please let me know, am kinda nervous about this one**

**A/N: Not a songfic, but inspired by Trisha Yearwood's "The Woman Before Me" All 5 chapters here**

Ch. 1

Sara stretched lazily, knowing it was time to get up yet relishing the feeling of waking up next to the big teddy bear body of Gil Grissom. She had something important to do as soon as she got up today... what was it... Oh, yeah! How could she forget! Well, to be honest, memories of last night lovemaking had pushed everything else out of her mind. The man was INCREDIBLE!

She kissed him lightly on the cheek, and dodged his groping hand as she bounded out of their bed. "Not now, Bugman, I gotta pee!"

He grunted his displeasure at her. She giggled at him, and then set about her mission.

She had put the sack from the pharmacy under the bathroom sink, as she didn't want to scare him if it wasn't necessary.

Taking the box from the bag, she opened it and carefully read all the instructions. It wasn't difficult, pee on the stick; wait 5 minutes; your future is decided.

Grissom wondered what was taking her so long. Did she decide to get in the shower while she was there? The thought of her nude form in the shower without him made him bolt out of the bed and head for the bathroom. He was not prepared for what he found.

Sara, dressed only in his bathrobe, was standing at the sink facing the mirror. A box in her left hand and a plastic stick in her right.

Her eyes were darting from one to the other and back again. He stepped closer to be able to see them better. The back of the box stated: One line ...not pregnant. Two lines...pregnant. He looked at the stick. Two lines.

Brown eyes met blue in the mirror. She was prepared for the shock she saw there. She was even prepared for the denial and some anger didn't surprise her. She was not prepared, however, for the rage and intense pain.

"Griss...?"

He spun on his heel and stormed back to the bedroom.

By the time she realized what had happened and got to the bedroom door, he was dressed in his running clothes and grabbing his keys from the tray on the dresser.

"You go ahead and do whatever it is you're going to about 'this'. Just be sure that you're gone by the time I get back." he spat at her as he slammed the front door.

Ch. 2

Sara stood there, stunned. She had no idea what had just happened. In the space of about six minutes, her world had gone from high to higher then came crashing to the ground around her feet. She heard a wailing sound. It was coming from her.

Without really knowing what she was doing, her trembling fingers dialed the phone.

"Willows," came the curt reply.

"Catherine... help me..." Sara said so softly that her friend almost didn't hear.

"Sara? What's wrong?"

"He... he... it hurts so bad..." Sara was crying so hard at this point, she couldn't even make sense.

" Where are you, Sara? Who hurt you?"

"G-Grissom's"

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

She was there in five.

Sara opened the door to let Catherine in. Her friend took in the bathrobe and the red swollen eyes. She also noticed that Sara was having trouble standing as her knees were shaking. Catherine led her over to the couch.

" How far?" Catherine asked.

" What?"

"How far along are you?"

"Is it that obvious?" Sara wondered, clasping the robe tighter to her body.

Catherine smiled a slight smile. "Just to another woman."

"I just took the test this morning." Sara said by way of an explanation.

Sara was still sniffling, but had calmed down enough to speak coherently. " He told me to do' whatever about 'THIS' that I wanted, and to be gone when he returned." She started to break down again.

Catherine reached for Sara's shoulders and held her while another wave of grief hit her.

"I don't really know what I thought his reaction would be, but that wasn't any of the options I considered."

"Catherine, you've known him a long time. Tell me, what did I do?"

"Honey, you didn't do anything wrong. But that story isn't mine to tell. I don't know the details, anyway. Gil's going to have to tell that story. I will tell you this, after it all happened is when he started shutting people out."

Catherine continued," You know how automobile windshields are made of tempered glass so that when they break, the glass, instead of going in all directions, stays together, even though it is shattered into millions of pieces?'

Sara nodded.

"That's how Gil was after Ellen left. Shattered, but he held himself together. I always thought He should have let go and let others help him through it, but you know Gil, no way was he letting anyone else in."

Ellen. At least she had a name, now. Sara had always suspected a woman was, at least, partly responsible for his closing himself off from the world.

" Why don't you go get dressed, and I'll make some coffee," Catherine offered.

As Sara was changing, Cath was in the kitchen muttering to herself,"...Gil, you have a lot of explaining to do. Old fool..."

Catherine loved her old friend, but sometimes that man needed his butt kicked.

Ch 3

Sara came into the living room and sat back down on the couch. Catherine set two steaming mugs on the coffee table, when they heard a key in the lock.

"Catherine, don't leave."

"Sara, are you afraid of him?" Catherine asked unbelievingly.

"No," Sara smiled a sad little smile, "I'm afraid for him."

Catherine nodded. "I know for a fact that there is a T.V. in the guest bedroom, I'll just go catch up on my soaps."

Catherine was walking toward the hall when Grissom opened the front door. She could see the pain etched on his tortured face. She put her hand on his forearm and said, "You've got to talk to her, Gil. She deserves to know."

He nodded at her and placed his large hand over hers. He gave it a squeeze. "I know." He said simply.

Catherine excused herself down the hall to the guest room and silently prayed to whatever deities were out there that her friends would make it through this.

He stood just inside the door, shuffling his feet like a chastised child. "Sara..." he started, she leapt from the couch and flew across the room into his arms.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." she began.

"No! Don't say that! You have done nothing to be sorry for, except maybe falling in love with an old fool."

"Sara, we need to talk. There are some things you should know. Things you should have known a long time before now."

"Yes, we do. But could you just hold me for a second? I need to feel your heart."

He smiled at her phrasing, but realized he knew exactly what she meant. He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her neck. "Will you forgive a crazy old hermit for being an idiot?" He mumbled into her softness as the tears started again.

"You're not old," she smiled at him," just a crazy hermit"

He smirked back at her little joke. He took her hand gently and led her back to the couch. She sat sideways in order to look at him and he faced straight ahead, his head in his hands, as he decided where to start.

She knew he needed to say it all, so once he started she didn't interrupt.

Ch. 4

"About 14 years ago, I met Ellen. We started seeing each other once in a while and that gradually became a regular and exclusive relationship. Even though we had our ups and downs, six months later, she moved in with me. She was a florist, and would come home smelling of roses and lilac. I would come home smelling like... well, you know," He smiled at that and she was glad that there were some good memories for him.

"I told her everything. The first person I had ever completely opened myself up to. I told her about my dad leaving and blaming myself, I even told her about my mother's otosclerosis, and my fears about my uncertain future." He glanced at Sara to gauge her reaction to this, as he hadn't told her about this, yet. She just nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"She told me that she loved me, and it didn't matter." At this, he harrumphed," I should have known better."

"Anyway, we had started drifting apart, for other reasons. I thought it was just a phase, and we would work it out. My mother came to visit. Ellen felt left out of conversation and inside jokes, because of the sign language. We honestly tried to include her, but she wasn't keen on trying, herself.

"It was during this week, apparently, that Ellen discovered she was pregnant. She never even told me." His voice had taken on a hollow flat sound.

"The following week, I came home from work one day to a blinking light on the answering machine. It was a nurse at some clinic making a follow-up call to check on her after the 'termination of pregnancy'. My knees buckled and I fell to the floor." Sara's hand went out to touch his shoulder as the tears silently streamed down her face.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered." She really hurt you, didn't she?"

"Wait," he said, caustically. "It gets better."

"I hadn't noticed her bags by the door. She was leaving. She said she didn't want to be stuck with a ... a..." His powerful shoulders were shaking with the sobs that were now wracking his body.

"Its all right, Gil. You don't have to finish." She was rubbing his back in small circles, a comforting gesture from her childhood.

He jumped off the couch and away from her sympathy. He had to, or he would never get it all out, and somehow he knew he had to tell it all.

"A freak! She called the baby... MY BABY a freak!" He shouted, tears, anger, and pain all mixing on his face and in his eyes.

"Oh, God," Sara whimpered. How could someone do that to someone they professed to love?

"I can't live through that. Not again. Sara, I almost didn't make it through last time. At least you told me about the baby, first." The last sentence, under his breath.

" And you thought I..."she started." That's not fair," her voice said, but her hands said, "You know I don't think that way."

It took a moment for what he had seen to register on his brain. "What did you say?"

He asked.

"I said, 'That's not fair'"

"No," he put his hand to her lips, "what else did you say?"

Her hands timidly fluttered before him, "You know I don't think that way"

At his questioning look, she simply stated," I knew that, for some reason, it was important to you. So, I wanted to learn."

"Sara, I love you, and I am so sorry about... everything."

"I love you, too, Gil"

They knew that there was much more that needed to be said, but for now, it was a start.

Ch. 5

Catherine had to get to work, and she hadn't heard any more talking from the rest of the house for quite awhile. She decided to get out as quietly as she could.

When she walked through the living room she saw them. Curled together on the couch, His head in her lap and his hand protectively on her stomach. Her hand covered his. They were both snoring softly.

She snickered to herself and left this note," Gave you both the night off, use it wisely."


End file.
